I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
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Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize