Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
