This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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