make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
