i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i think my mom watched the whole time
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
