Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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