i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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