Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
