took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize