i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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