I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
