at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
