Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
