Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
