I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
