No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Randomize
