So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
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Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
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Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
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