mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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