Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
