i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
