Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
