..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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