I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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