when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
