just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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