your room smells of hookers.
And success
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
