I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
