She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
