Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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