The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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