tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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