i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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