So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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