I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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