I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
