booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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