Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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