what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Randomize
