You smell like a Billy Joel song
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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