i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
