Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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