Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I have feelings that need drinking.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
