what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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