i need an iv and a liver transplant
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
