ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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