You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
