I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
