my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
