but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
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i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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