He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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