There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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