You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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