Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
