Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
