brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
someone owes me an orgasm
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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