my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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