Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i am craving dick and cupcakes
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
