I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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