He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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