He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
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There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
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Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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