Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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