it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
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Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
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I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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