i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
