it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
