he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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