there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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